General and ‘traditional’ definition of being bisexual describes an attraction to both men and women.
These days, as our understanding of gender evolves to become more precise and expansive, bisexuality is defined as having a sexual or romantic attraction to people regardless of their gender.
Nevertheless, this explanation is pretty basic for a sexual spectrum that is so cosmic, colourful, and beautiful!
Figuring out your sexual orientation can be stressful, and we feel you 100%!
While we could do without all the labels, finding the right words to describe your sexuality, as well as the community that comes with it, can be extremely empowering.
Furthermore, the labels you choose to define your orientation are free to grow and evolve as you embark on an enthralling journey of self-discovery.
At this moment, you might already have a feeling about being bisexual. Congratulations!
Although sexual preferences vary from one individual to another, there are some possible signs of bisexuality that might help you to indicate whether or not you might be bi.
To help you out, we’ve put together some signs below!
Keep in mind: This is not a checklist! And don’t let that online quiz you took a few years ago define you. Do whatever you choose that empowers you to find your true self.
- Signs that you might be bisexual
- 1. Wondering if you could be bi
- 2) You have a crush
- 3) You have conflicting feelings
- 4) You get defensive when people trash talk the bi-life
- 5) You can picture a long term relationship with all genders
- 6) Sexual intimacy feels right with all genders
- 7) You feel comfortable with the label
- 8) You have an insatiable crush on all-gender characters/celebrities
- 9) You kissed a girl/guy and you (really) liked it
- 10) You’re expanding your porn genre
- 11) It doesn’t have to be 50/50
- 12) Your sexuality evolves
- 13) You prefer spending time in LGBTQ+ friendly places
- 14) There are no physical signs of bisexuality
- 15) You feel bad about making someone your experiment
Signs that you might be bisexual
1. Wondering if you could be bi
This might sound like a no brainer, but if you find yourself searching for answers to “signs of bisexuality” or “how do I know if I am bisexual”, it could signify that you’re entertaining the notion of being bi.
Although this isn’t a guaranteed ‘sign’, it’s enough to set most people on their journey of exploration.
You could just be searching for answers to educate yourself about the different sexualities, in which case, good on you too!
But if you also tend to drift towards looking for bisexual content and if you feel some kind of connection with them, you might want to start exploring.
2) You have a crush
Sometimes, the heart wants, what the heart wants. And often, your heart might know what you want even before you discover it yourself!
In this case, and in the words of Cascada, Listen to your heart.
A crush can come out of nowhere and it’ll hit you even harder when it reveals feelings you never knew you had before – like non-straight feelings.
And even if your crush remains as just a crush, it could still illuminate your general romantic or sexual interest towards that gender.
3) You have conflicting feelings
Bi feelings are confusing, especially if you’ve been so used to feelings towards one gender all your life.
A general sign that you might be bisexual is having conflicting feelings or ideas about the type of relationship you see yourself in.
For instance, if you grew up believing that you would end up with someone of the opposite gender because that’s just the way you were conditioned but then suddenly find yourself picturing a future with someone of the same gender, it could point towards bisexual tendencies.
We’re here to tell you that these feelings are 100% normal, and the confusion should dissipate over time as you learn and explore these feelings to understand yourself better.
4) You get defensive when people trash talk the bi-life
First off, thank you for putting the bigots in place!
There are a lot of common misconceptions about bi folks, and they have to deal with a lot of waffle from all angles of the sexuality spectrum.
Stereotypes and sigmas like “You’re just slutty”, “You’re just greedy”, or “You’re not gay/straight enough” can cut you like a knife if you resonate with being bisexual, because you know deep down that it’s way more than that.
5) You can picture a long term relationship with all genders
You might’ve begun your bi-curious journey from once finding someone of the same gender attractive.
But! Anyone can find anyone attractive.
Just because you follow more people of the same gender on social media, doesn’t immediately entail that you’re bi.
However, if you can envision and often daydream yourself being in a relationship with someone regardless of their gender identity, it’s a sign you might be bisexual.
6) Sexual intimacy feels right with all genders
Did you know that Lady Gaga’s Poker Face had nothing to do with poker?
Instead, the famous diva was talking about keeping a straight face as she gets it on with a straight dude while at the same time fantasizing about having sex with a woman.
Yep, the song might be more relatable than you think!
If you’ve found yourself fantasising about going all the way with all types of genders, sometimes even while in mid-bang, it might be time to update your dating preferences.
7) You feel comfortable with the label
If upon the discovering the terms “bisexual” or “bi” and you have a feeling of resonation that you can’t explain, it could be a good indicator that you’re bi-tastic.
At times, labels can be a good thing. Because it offers a sense of belonging when you’ve finally found a community that you fit in, who shares similar experiences as what you’re going through.
Of course, don’t be confined to the boundaries of a particular label unless it fits like a good pair of jeans.
Even though you see yourself dating, loving, and sleeping with all genders, how you describe your sexual orientation is ultimately up to you.
8) You have an insatiable crush on all-gender characters/celebrities
Have you ever had a crush on both a male and female character from a movie or your favourite TV show?
Like you thought Jamie Dorman was Y-U-M-M-Y in 50 Shades of Gray but damn, so was Dakota Johnson.
Obviously, this is more of a superficial (and fun) way to test if you could be bisexual so definitely take it with a pinch of salt!
Again, you could just be attracted to two incredibly hot celebrities and nothing else. However, if you find this realisation awakening something deeper in you, it could be worth digging deeper.
9) You kissed a girl/guy and you (really) liked it
You’re not bisexual simply because you kissed someone of the same gender at a party once.
Bisexuality goes beyond just actions, as it also involves the existence of sexual, romantic or both types of attraction.
Have you ever experimented being intimate with someone of the same gender while still being intimate with others of a different gender?
You might’ve labelled it as ‘just a phase’, but you should also think about why you decided to ‘experiment’ in the first place?
Rather than concentrating on the actions, think about how your experiences made you feel.
If it left you feeling good, satisfied, and wanting more, you might want to dig deeper into these feelings. If you were left even more confused, that’s okay too, continue on your exploration at your own pace!
10) You’re expanding your porn genre
Okay, porn may not count for much because you can be super into a kind of genre of porn, but turn out not to like it that much in real life.
Although, porn has helped many people awaken or even understand their sexuality through some ethical exploration.
Specifically, porn and erotica featuring gender(s) that you might be attracted to.
Consider what trigger words, phrases, acts, or scenes piques your interest and turns you on.
11) It doesn’t have to be 50/50
There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all approach to sexuality.
Everyone has their own romantic inclinations and sexual desires.
Bi people are no exception.
You don’t have to share your interests equally between men and women.
You could be 75% into guys and only 15% into girls, that’s totally okay!
You may have periods of time when you are more interested in one than the other. You can also like one gender romantically while preferring another sexually.
There isn’t a precise science, so you do you!
12) Your sexuality evolves
As you grow in life, your sexuality also develops and evolves with your experiences whether you like it or not.
It’s possible that you’re bisexual at this moment, but let it be if you feel heterosexual tomorrow!
And that’s what it should be if you ever feel homosexual, asexual, demisexual, or whatever.
Because sexuality is made up of phases, so don’t be frightened to go through each one and embrace it full on!
13) You prefer spending time in LGBTQ+ friendly places
The power of community is important, so it’s natural that you want to hang out in judgement-free, bi-friendly atmospheres.
Not only does it make you feel safe, but it’s also the ideal environment for you to shine and be your true self.
If you feel yourself gravitating towards these spots, or find that you’ve inadvertently surrounded yourself with people of a variety of sexual identities, it could mean that you’re bi.
14) There are no physical signs of bisexuality
Whatever nonsense you’ve heard about being bisexual, it doesn’t have a ‘look’.
In fact, that’s the best part. You can present yourself in any way, and it doesn’t have anything to do with your sexuality.
Be as feminine as you like, or masculine, or gender fluid, or bi! Regardless of your ‘look’, just always be yourself.
15) You feel bad about making someone your experiment
Everyone is someone’s experiment. No matter your sexual preferences, we all had sex for the first time, and there’s no reason to feel bad about it.
You don’t owe anyone perfection, and you certainly don’t owe anyone the ‘answer’ that you’re in the midst of working out for yourself.
We all start somewhere, and be it at the age of 26, 55, or even 75, there’s no limit on sexual discovery.
Nonetheless, we encourage you to create a safe environment in which you can experiment and be a newbie either in the bedroom or in the dating arena.
Having said that, sexuality is a delicate subject because until today, there’s no evidential science that can determine how or what someone should feel.
Sexual preferences also vary from one individual to another.
So, don’t let any list or quiz for signs of bisexuality determine who you are, the only person who gets to decide is YOU!
Don’t worry, we’ll also be here to help you along the way 🙂
Also remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation!
And there’s definitely no timeframe for when you must figure it all out.
Take all the time you need in the world.
Bi-tastic or not, just focus on being you-tastic and you’ll live a more fulfilling life!
Psst… if you’re looking for a safe space to explore your sexuality, find yourself the kind of relationship where you can be completely upfront and honest with each other – visit Sugarbook.
I am very glad I am now out, at least to a few people as bisexual, lets see how it goes from here, Thank you. E. WYATT H.
i also am happy to be bi and have come out to many people
I always feelt lyk hiding but am ok now am confident