Truth be told, we’re all not perfect. We weren’t taught ways how to love a person and be a damn good partner, preventing any form of toxic behaviour altogether.
Aside from all the glitz and glamour portrayed in romantic movies, unfortunately, real-life relationships are much more complicated than that.
Though we all have our own demons to face, what’s not okay is causing harm to others. That’s exactly what a toxic relationship does to you while causing effects on mental health too.
And if you’re not sure yourself whether you’re in a toxic relationship, it’s best to know what are the common, clear signs of a toxic relationship.
We’ve rounded up 11 signs of a toxic relationship below, so get ready to take down notes because you’ll need it.
- 11 Clear Signs Of A Toxic Relationship
- 1. They’re controlling you
- 2. They tend to get jealous easily
- 3. Namecalling or criticism happens often
- 4. You both are keeping tabs on who screw up the most
- 5. It’s always a lying game between the two of you
- 6. Being in the relationship leaves you drained
- 7. Your family and friends think they’re no good for you
- 8. Effort only goes one-way, not two-ways
- 9. Your partner has a bad habit you don’t approve of
- 10. They blame you for their own emotions and feelings
- 11. Gaslighting happens often
- What do I do now?
11 Clear Signs Of A Toxic Relationship
1. They’re controlling you
Do they always try to take control of your life?
If they don’t allow you to dress a certain way or prevent you from making new friends of the opposite gender, that’s one of the signs of a toxic relationship right there.
You may think that all those subtle things they request could be a form of love, but don’t get confused by acts of love and controlling behaviour.
Your partner does not have the right to choose the life choices for you. It is your life after all, not theirs!
So if you notice they’re trying to manage your friends, finances or needing access to all your personal accounts, they are definite signs of a toxic relationship.
2. They tend to get jealous easily
A simple harmless conversation you had with your best friend causes them to throw a fit and take out their anger on you.
Sounds familiar? Honey, those are clear signs of a toxic relationship.
Unless the person you’re talking to is trying to flirt with you, there’s absolutely no reason for your partner to be jealous! What’s so wrong with chatting with your best friend?
Don’t get us wrong, a little jealousy here and it is normal. It shows that they truly care and love you. But excessive jealousy is not okay and could cause serious negative effects on mental health.
3. Namecalling or criticism happens often
“You’re too fat. You need to lose weight.” “You look uglier with makeup on. Don’t wear too much of it.”
Nothing you do ever seems to be right. There’s always something they have to say, which is something they don’t like about you.
Even worse, if they start calling you unpleasant names. Like hello, the only names that should be used in a healthy relationship would be cute pet names!
Not only does namecalling or criticism cause negative effects on mental health, but it might also even make you think you’re always never good enough.
4. You both are keeping tabs on who screw up the most
Hey now, we all make mistakes. We’re humans after all. But being constantly reminded of the mistakes you’ve made in the past? That’s not normal.
Whether your partner or even yourself keeps tabs on who messes up the most, that’s one of the common signs of a toxic relationship.
It’s not cool to always bring up the past, you’re just gonna make the other person feel guilty all the time.
C’mon, nobody wants to get reminded of our past mistakes on a consistent basis. In a healthy relationship, it’s all about growing together and focusing on each other’s strengths, not dwell on the weaknesses.
5. It’s always a lying game between the two of you
We’re not even going to mention the meaning of the lying game. Isn’t it clear what this is about? It’s always one lie after another in your relationship!
If they’re starting to make small little lies at the beginning of the relationship, it’s an early warning of a toxic relationship that should make you want to run right out of the door.
And yes, cheating is one form of lying. A relationship will never be healthy if lies are always involved one way or another. It’s one of the no-brainer signs of a toxic relationship that causes effects on mental health.
Imagine after going through countless lies from your partner, you simply can’t trust anyone else.
6. Being in the relationship leaves you drained
Have you ever felt a sudden decrease in energy after hanging out with your beau?
No relationship should leave you feeling drained, mentally or physically. If you’re extremely exhausted some days in the relationship at the start, it could be an early warning of a toxic relationship.
In fact, being in a toxic relationship makes you feel tired most days and all the time, causing negative effects on mental health. Notice how healthy your body is and how it reacts after spending time with your partner.
7. Your family and friends think they’re no good for you
It’s always not obvious to you if you’re in a toxic relationship, but your loved ones can always see it. An outsider’s perspective can be useful sometimes as they could notice certain signs of a toxic relationship.
And if your loved ones say they absolutely hate your partner after meeting them, it might be time to re-think your relationship and find out why they feel that way.
More often than not, they have very good reasons for disliking your partner.
8. Effort only goes one-way, not two-ways
A relationship takes two to tango. If one of you is always the one giving in, making an effort to keep the relationship working, it’s one of the signs of a toxic relationship.
One person can’t be holding the relationship together – it should be a two-way street. Being in a toxic relationship may seem like you’re always giving whereas your partner is just taking.
Being in a toxic relationship also makes you feel like you’re in a one-sided relationship, especially if you’re always the one to text first and offer to help them in any way.
9. Your partner has a bad habit you don’t approve of
There may be certain behaviours about your partner that you hate. Perhaps they are struggling with substance abuse or bad habits such as gambling.
That’s a huge no-no. It might be an early warning of a toxic relationship too because this kind of behaviour or habit could be seen at the beginning of a relationship.
10. They blame you for their own emotions and feelings
Your partner had a bad day at work? Incoming words of anger being thrown at you.
Being in a toxic relationship makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells because apparently, anything you say may trigger their anger.
Whatever negative feelings they’re facing, you’ll be the first one to be blamed. Without a doubt, it’s one of the common signs of a toxic relationship that could really cause an effect on mental health.
11. Gaslighting happens often
They act like you’re the crazy, mental one in the relationship. In simpler words, gaslighting means your partner isn’t taking your feelings into consideration and ignores it altogether.
You might even be tricked into believing you’re the one with a mental problem because they don’t listen to you.
If your partner is always saying how sensitive you are or make you think you’re overreacting, we can assure you that those are clear signs of a toxic relationship.
They make you doubt yourself and deny your feelings or accusations, even if you have solid reasons. Trust us, gaslighting could cause some real damage to your mental health.
What do I do now?
If you find yourself checking for at least 3 to 5 of these signs, it’s clear that you’re in a toxic relationship.
There are definitely ways to fix a toxic relationship, but again, as we said earlier, it takes two to make a relationship work. You gotta ask yourself too if it’s worth it to make it work, and if the relationship is already doing more damage and harm to you mentally than it should. If it is, we believe it’s time to pack your bags and say sayonara instead.
Leaving a relationship that can’t be fixed is hard. But once you do it, you’ll feel so relieved, like a huge bag of rocks has been lifted off your shoulders.
Plus, you could always meet new people and mend your broken heart with dating apps like Sugarbook.