First dates can be really nerve-wracking. There is a lot to take in and you are wondering if there is something stuck in your teeth or whether that was the right spoon to use for the soup.
Yea, it is a whole mess.
And we get it. You have spent considerable time talking to this person through the Sugarbook app and you have put in the effort to look good for the date – you are hoping for things to work out well.
With so many things going on in your mind, you might overlook some of the red flags your sugar date is showing.
So, we are here to assist. What are the warning signs you should look out for on a first sugar date?
- They are very late.
- They are not who they say they are.
- They are rude to the service staff.
- They are inconsistent.
- They are too pushy.
- They make the date feel like a job interview.
- They only talk about themselves.
- They keep looking at their phones.
- They are a little too judgy.
- They are not on the same wavelength as you.
They are very late.
There will be times when the traffic is bad, or an emergency came up. If they do not give you a heads up after the five-minute mark, they are probably not worth your time.
When they do eventually show up and just do not seem to have a legitimate excuse for their tardiness, you might want to keep your guards up and look out for other red-flag behaviours.
They are not who they say they are.
🚩 Not looking like the pictures in their profile!
🚩 Finding out that the information on their profile and your chats are not true!
🚩 Finding out what they expect from a sugar relationship is too different from yours!
Do not be surprised if you did not spot these earlier, after all, it is easier to mislead someone virtually. That is why it is important to meet up face to face before deciding on any kind of arrangement.
When you meet, you will be able to gauge your sugar date better in terms of their words and actions. If in doubt, always trust your instincts.
Take note: a sugar relationship that starts off with dishonesty and distrust will not end well.
They are rude to the service staff.
This is a very common red flag to look out for and there is a good reason for it.
It does not matter that they are treating you like royalty when they are not extending the same courtesy or respect to the people around you.
One more thing – when they are too demanding.
It is reasonable if the restaurant got their order wrong and they ask for a replacement but if they keep sending the dish back for reasons that you can’t even comprehend, and they go as far as threatening the staff?
Uh-oh, that sounds like another deal-breaker. Better get out of there, sugar.
They are inconsistent.
This is a warning sign that could even appear before the first date. If you have been trying to set up a first date with them but they cannot seem to settle on a day or a place to meet up, you might wonder if they’re serious about this.
This could also be a sign of a potential catfish, so do lookout for that.
And during the sugar date, the stories they tell may seem a little off. Whether it is because they’re making things up or they’re not exactly telling the truth, that’s a red flag you need to take note of.
They are too pushy.
It is only a first date and they have gotten a bit too touchy?
While there are some of you who would not mind things going fast, a first date (sugar or not) still warrants for some respect, personal space and a little getting to know each other first.
They might not be pushy in physical ways but look out for how they are steering the conversation.
If they’re dropping hints about doing things you’re not comfortable with or asking questions that are too personal for a first date, you might want to avoid scheduling a follow-up date.
They make the date feel like a job interview.
We understand that a sugar first date is not like a normal first date.
A sugar first date is usually the time where you’re learning about each other’s wants and needs in order to set the terms and conditions for your arrangement.
Using the term arrangement might make it sound kind of formal but it does not mean that you should feel like you are being put on the interrogation stand.
They only talk about themselves.
It has been 2 hours into your date and all you’ve heard is their voice? You could even write an autobiography of your date, that is how much you know about them by the end of it. 🙄
And you are starting to think they could be a narcissist? Well, if they are not just talking about themselves but are also overly critical about the people and things in their lives, you are probably right.
That is a big red flag over there and we advise you to not approach that danger zone ever again.
They keep looking at their phones.
Another warning sign to look out for is when they seem to be dating their phone instead of dating you.
We understand that sugar daddies/mummies are busy and successful people, hence the phone won’t stop buzzing for their attention. It’s fine to check once in a while, but constantly looking at the phone with no apology is a red flag.
After all, it is the first sugar date and you are eager to get to know them better. But when it feels like there is a third wheel on the date (and yes, I am referring to the phone), you might want to take the hint that you are the third wheel instead and leave them to themselves.
FYI, not looking at the phone during a date is a common decency — sugar dating or not.
They are a little too judgy.
As you should know by now (I did mention this in point #2), a sugar relationship is based on honesty and transparency. It is also most importantly a non-judgmental space where two people can be in an honest relationship.
If your sugar date did not get that memo and they are making little comments here and there that do not feel right to you, red flag it and think twice about seeing them again.
They are not on the same wavelength as you.
Maybe the chats and phone calls went great but once you meet, they just do not seem to have the same vibes you were hoping for.
That must be quite a bummer but if you do not think you match well with your date, do not force it. Let them know politely that you do not think it is going to work out and wish them well in their sugar journey.
After all, you can always get back on Sugarbook and look for your next potential date.
Do remember to look out for all these red flags!