Why choose between work or play when you can easily have both?
Mama didn’t raise no quitter— in fact, we picked up multi-tasking along the way too! There’s just something that hits different about office sex.
Maybe it’s the exhibitionist kink in you coming out or perhaps it’s the thrill that comes from having an orgasm while getting paid. Either way, we get it: smart formal gets us feeling all hot and bothered at times too.
Why wait until you get home or sacrifice your sleeping hours when you can just bang one out at work? Here are 15 tips we think you should consider before having office sex.
- 5 Tips On How To Have Sex At The Office
- 5 Things To Note When Having Sex At The Office
- 5 Places To Have Sex At The Office
5 Tips On How To Have Sex At The Office
1 – Keep Your Clothes On
As time is of the essence when having office sex, it’s important to be as efficient as possible. This means it’s time to get touchy feely on top of your clothes, especially when you’re wearing several layers of it at work. Shirt, undershirt, belt, pants, boxers, shoes, socks… you get the idea; just too much work.
Sure, maybe undo a few buttons to expose the view of breasts hiding under a carefully ironed shirt— but part of the thrill is keeping your partner on that edge of guessing what’s underneath. It’ll drive them crazy for more that’s for sure.
Keep it simple by just raising skirts and unzipping pants, which gives for the fastest recovery time for when the lost intern comes knocking at your door to ask questions.
2 – Or Take Everything Off
Have your own office? Even better, this gives room for the ultimate form of privacy when it comes to sex at work. After making sure the doors are locked, you can get it on with your colleague completely naked as well.
The pros of taking everything off eliminates the room for having any article of clothing getting messed up or suspicious in any manner— after all, the key is to be secretive about it. Someone is bound to ask you why your perfectly pressed shirt from this morning is now completely crumpled up, or worse, what’s that weird white stain at the back of your skirt?
3 – Make Use Of Flat Surfaces
Much like anything you do at the office, it’s important to make use of what’s given to you. Office sex means its time to get creative, which is where we start seeing furniture in a whole new light.
You’d want to keep an eye out for any flat surfaces, typically office desks. Try to not push any laptops off the table when you’re recreating that dramatic sweep of supplies that TV loves doing and get ready to get it on.
4 – Work Sex Positions In Office Chairs
If the idea of a desk feels rather dated to you, why not try having office sex on a chair? Stable, non-rolling office chairs make for the perfect seat for a quickie at work.
This position works best when the male colleague is seated on the chair, while the female colleague is seated on top of him. What’s great about this position is that you can both have all of your clothes on, with only pushing some articles of clothes to the side or unzipping certain areas.
5 – Get Creative With Rolly Chairs
However if you got stuck with the classic hot wheels; rolly office chairs— it’s time to get even more creative. Oral sex, or even penerative sex, can be worked into it while making use of the mobility of the device before you.
Get your lady to be on the chair (ass up or forward facing can be a preference) while you’re on your knees, using your hands to roll the chair back and forth instead of moving your body. Pretty handy invention, eh?
5 Things To Note When Having Sex At The Office
While the idea of sex at work can be a turn on for many, it’s important to keep these tips in mind if you still want to have a job to return to the next day.
1. Be Discreet
Office sex only works if you’re careful about it. Besides, the whole point is about the thrill of getting caught— but you’d want to avoid that at all costs.
Make sure to cover your tracks, which includes locking all doors, turning off the lights, keeping quiet, and tidying up after. Leave no room for any nosy office mates to ask about your messy hair or smudged makeup.
2. Make It Quick
People, it’s called a quickie for a reason! There’s no time for passionate love making or body worship when you’re at the office— it’s all about grabbing, touching, tasting, and fucking as fast as possible. Perhaps that’s what makes the idea of sex at work so hot the begin with; the desperation to scratch that itch.
Make it quick because someone’s going to notice when your bathroom break is taking longer than the usual 10 to 15 minutes, and even more so when another colleague disappeared around the same time too…
3. Consider Your Surroundings
Sure, have a quickie at work, but first of all… where do you work? Surroundings matter when we consider this question as you wouldn’t want to be breaking any laws just for some momentary pleasure. If you work in an area that has children involved, such as a school or nursery, we’d advise to settle for keeping it in your pants for now.
4. Think Twice About Doing Your Boss
Even though the ultimate office sex fantasy is having your boss invite you to his office to discuss some ‘private matters’, you might want to pause on the Fifty Shades dreams and consider the real life consequences for a bit.
Power play may be extremely hot but it also gives room for a lot of dangerous possibilities at work, which is why as a subordinate you might want to keep your panties on for a bit. Unless this is a situation where you’re leaving your job in a week, in which case we’d suggest even sending them a Google Cal invite.
5. Keep It To Yourself
As hot as office sex is, it quickly loses its appeal when turned into gossip. Sure, you might be dying to tell your cubicle mate about how Darren from Accounting balances more than just cheque books— but trust us when we say you’ll want to bite your tongue.
If word gets out about sex at work, you’re opening up avenues for potential investigations to happen in your office. This could mean tighter security, which makes it harder for future endeavours, and not to mention the potential of losing your job!
5 Places To Have Sex At The Office
If you have heeded all the wisdom we are willing to give and still want to carry on with this quest, we shall equip you with the right tools for it. Here are our suggestions on the best places to have sex at work.
1) At The Stairwell
Quiet and far away from crowds, the stairwell is a perfect spot for a quickie in between lunch breaks or meetings. Though, you might wanna check beforehand for anyone sneaking in a cigarette break a couple of floors above you two.
2) Under The Desk
If you can’t have them on your desk as per the ultimate fantasy, what’s wrong about getting some love from down under? Get your colleague on their knees (or alternatively, crawl down there yourself) and put that mouth to good use!
3) By The Photocopier Machine
After calling them in to check on some paperwork, close the door and have them pinned up against that metal instead. The flat surface of the filing cabinet makes for balancing your partner or you while getting the job done.
4) In The Elevator
There’s a reason why elevator rides make your stomach feel funny at times. If your office building has many floors, why not utilise the time spent there to sneak a hot makeout sesh (or something a little more if you’re freaky)? We certainly got ideas after watching Robert Pattinson for Dior Homme…
5) In The Boardroom
You’ll never think of a meeting the same way again. The boardroom is probably the best place to have sex at work, especially when you consider how much room you have to work with. In the chairs? On the table? Doing it while the projector is on the both of you? So many options to choose from!
However you’ll want to make sure that there are no cameras around, or worse, frosted glass walls. Pretty sure the office folk will be able to put two and two together if they see human-like shapes thrusting into each other…
And with that, you are now prepared to make your office life a whole lot more exciting! Who knew work could be this fun? Make sure to tune in to Sugarbook for more tips and tricks on how to spice up your sex life. Over here, it is possible to have your cake and eat it too— just make sure you clean up after to avoid any ants!