Now what does “friends with benefits” mean?
Friends with benefits or shortened to FWB is a casual relationship where there is companionship (that’s the friends bit) and sex (that’s the benefit) without the commitment and emotional turmoil that usually accompanies a normal relationship.
Actually, the GIF below sums it up pretty well.
If you’ve been around the dating scene, you would have noticed this acronym popping up in conversations or on dating profiles.
If you’re a guy, you would have definitely come across some profiles that say ‘No FWB’ along with ‘No DTF’ and “No Netflix and Chill’. Don’t know why but it’s somehow more common on girls’ profiles.
If you are a girl (and actually guys too), this FWB thing would have been proposed to you a couple of times as you navigate the online dating world. Some of you might have done it before, while some of you would immediately reject the person for suggesting it.
Now before you turn your nose up on it thinking that a friends with benefits relationship is impossible to maintain or that it’s just an excuse for people to sleep with each other, let’s read on a bit more.
Before we go any further, the first thing you should find out is whether a friends with benefits relationship is right for you. Here are five points to keep in mind before deciding if this kind of casual relationship is truly beneficial for you.
- How To Find Out If FWB Is Your Cup Of Tea
- How To Have A Successful Friends With Benefits Relationship
- Rule 1: Everyone must always ask for consent.
- Rule 2: Friends with benefits must always use protection.
- Rule 3: Friends with benefits must communicate.
- Rule 4: Friends with benefits should have fun exploring.
- Rule 5: Friends with benefits don’t get jealous.
- Rule 6: Friends with benefits shouldn’t try to be more.
- Rule 7: Friends with benefits should go after what they’re looking for.
- Rule 8: Friends with benefits should know when it’s time to move on.
- No judgement whatsoever.
- Excitement guaranteed!
- No trapping commitments or unrealistic expectations.
- Turning FWB Relationship Into Something More
How To Find Out If FWB Is Your Cup Of Tea
1) You are not looking for commitment.
And you are not expecting commitment from your FWB either. It is important that you and your FWB knows what this relationship means and would entail.
While they are people you’re comfortable with (that’s why they’re your friends, right) and you’re getting down and dirty together, it doesn’t mean that they would be or should be meeting your emotional needs and care for you the way a partner in a committed relationship would.
2) Both you and your FWB are on the same page.
Before entering into a friends with benefits relationship, both of you should discuss openly and honestly about what you expect from each other. It is important to lay the ground rules so that nobody will get hurt, confused or misunderstood.
If this kind of no-strings-attached relationship sounds doable for you, then that’s a good sign.
3)This is the kind of relationship that you truly want with this person.
Now sometimes you may think that being in a friends with benefits relationship is the only way you could get to that person and you are hoping that by doing this, it would transition into something else, something more.
I don’t want to burst your bubble because happily ever after could happen but this is just not advisable. In a way, you are deceiving that person and you might end up in a bigger heartbreak when things don’t go your way.
4) Understand that this person may be with other people.
This is why it’s important to lay the ground rules. A friends with benefits situation usually means that you are not bound to each other and you are free to date and/or sleep with other people.
However, an exclusive friends with benefits relationship is possible if the two of you agree to it.
5) You both enjoy the FWB relationship.
At the core of a friends with benefits relationship, it should be fun and stress-free. Of course, it goes without saying that the sex should be awesome.
But ultimately, you should be feeling content with this arrangement. If you find yourself feeling regretful and disappointed, it is probably not the right choice for you.
How To Have A Successful Friends With Benefits Relationship
Great, now that we have taken care of the first step, here are 8 rules on how to make a friends with benefits relationship work.
Rule 1: Everyone must always ask for consent.
And I’m not just talking about consent for sex (that’s a given btw!). It’s also about consent around social things like whether it’s okay to tell your friends about your friends with benefits situation or whether it’s okay to leave your things in their place.
Rule 2: Friends with benefits must always use protection.
Look, we know it’s nobody’s favourite thing to hear or do. But it would suck even more when you catch an infection or go through a pregnancy scare. So to save yourself such concern, it is wise to just wrap it up so that the both of you can continue this beneficial relationship.
Rule 3: Friends with benefits must communicate.
If you really want your friends with benefits relationship to work, an open channel of communication is vital. This means the both of you should be able to clearly express your desires and what you hope to gain from the relationship.
Rule 4: Friends with benefits should have fun exploring.
The great thing about a friends with benefits arrangement is the freedom it gives for you to embrace your sensual side. Take advantage of this opportunity to explore your desires and ultimately have fun while doing it.
Rule 5: Friends with benefits don’t get jealous.
The lack of commitment and social contract to each other means that eventually you will find your FWB hooking up with other people. If this makes you uncomfortable and you find that green-eyed monster surfacing in you, you might need to rethink the relationship.
Rule 6: Friends with benefits shouldn’t try to be more.
We are all human beings and that means we have feelings and feelings can develop in any kind of relationship. If you find yourself falling for your FWB, we suggest that you come clean and let them know.
If they feel the same way, that’s great news! But if they don’t, it might be best to end the arrangement.
Rule 7: Friends with benefits should go after what they’re looking for.
The beauty of friends with benefits is that you get to fulfill your sexual needs even if you’re not in a relationship. However, your wants and desires could change over time.
Whether it’s a long-term commitment, steady fling or casual sex—you should reflect on this regularly and make sure your friends with benefits is still meeting your desires.
Rule 8: Friends with benefits should know when it’s time to move on.
A friends with benefits relationship won’t last forever. Knowing when to end it and move on will ensure that it ends on a high note.
Keep it going while it’s fun and end it when the sexual chemistry has run its course. It’s time to move on to something (or someone) bigger. 😏
Hopefully, we’ve painted a clearer picture for you on how friends with benefits relationships look like and you’re starting to see that it’s not really that bad (if you can get it right).
If you are still a little on the fence, here are 3 reasons you should join us on the dark side.
No judgement whatsoever.
Whether you’ve been single for too long and you’re craving for that physical intimacy or you just don’t have space in your life right now for a full-blown relationship, a friend with benefit will not judge you in any way.
All of us have needs and you are free to meet those needs in a way that benefits you.
There is something about that no-strings-attached, free and willing person who wants to do the horizontal tango with you that just flames the fire bigger. Maybe it’s because you are not stressed out by all the demands and expectations of a relationship.
We’re not saying that we don’t support committed, long-term and loving relationships. We are just saying that there is more than one way to fulfil our needs—not just sexually but also emotionally, mentally and financially.
No trapping commitments or unrealistic expectations.
A friends with benefits relationship means that you both know what you are getting yourself into. You don’t feel like you have to conform to the other party’s expectations and vice versa. It is truly a win-win situation.
Turning FWB Relationship Into Something More
But what if you find yourself catching feelings for your friend with benefits?
Moving from a friends with benefits relationship to a more committed, serious one isn’t always easy and there are some risks involved.
If you get a sense that your FWB might be feeling the same way as you, here are some things you can do to move your FWB situation into an actual relationship. Here are 5 things to do to transform your FWB into a relationship.
1. Be affectionate.
A friends with benefits relationship can sometimes mean that there are certain boundaries about how much you care for each other. But if you’re looking to switch things up, then you’ll have to do something different.
Show some affection to your friend with benefits if you want to turn your friendship into a serious relationship. Just don’t overdo it. Throughout the FWB relationship, you would have learned some things about your partner. You can use this knowledge to show them that you care and that you pay attention to them.
Show them emotional support and be there for them. They’ll soon recognize you’re relationship material.
2. Do more together than just have sex
Most friends with benefits relationships revolve around sex. Duh.
However, you should spend quality time with your friend if you want to take your friendship to the next level. Try new restaurants, go to shows, or do something physical together, such as hiking. This will allow you to get to know each other better and help your relationship to develop further.
When they start seeing you out of the context of sex, they might discover that they like the other sides of you too.
3. Limit booty calls.
Which is why you might want to limit those booty calls. The goal is to influence their perception of you so that your relationship can progress.
You should instead make plans to spend time with them. Suggest going out to dinner and see a movie together and see how they react. If you notice that they are acting favourable and they enjoy spending time with you, you might just be on the way to success.
4. Remain chill.
Changing the dynamics of your relationship will not come easy and your friend with benefits might start giving you mixed signals. When this happens, just go with the flow. Give them some space if they refuse to hang out with you more frequently.
If you asked them out to do something that was more than just hitting the sack and they say no, it’s okay. Remember that the most important thing during this process is to stay emotionally healthy. Don’t become obsessed with your friend and don’t feel hurt when things aren’t going exactly as planned.
Remember your own value and worth. They’ll eventually come around to you if they’re interested.
5. Let them chase you.
Some people thrive on the thrill of the hunt. And a good dose of jealousy may go a long way. Allow your friend to chase you instead of you chasing them.
This means not always being accessible when they want to spend time with you and dating other people until they commit to you. If your gut instinct was right and they do have feelings for you, they will make the move.
Ultimately, we are rooting for you. After all, there has been research that shows that 44% of friends with benefits situations can turn into long-term relationships. If things didn’t turn out the way you hoped, there is another win-win situation you can consider — the sugar baby life!
Don’t say that we’re keeping the good stuff to ourselves. Head over to Sugarbook to start reaping those sweet benefits!