Is there ever a right time to break up with a person? If so, when is it?
We all want to be in a happy relationship. In this case, we want to be in a happy sugar relationship. Sugar is sweet but soon enough, it’ll eventually lose its flavour. Sometimes we can get so deep in the drama that we can’t see the damage it does until it’s too late.
Whether you’re reading this article from the point of view of a sugar relationship or a normal relationship, here are 12 common signs (along with reasons!) that indicate your arrangement or relationship has run its course.
1. You’re bored around your partner
Everything can be exciting at the beginning of the arrangement. But after being together for some time, things tend to level off a bit.
You don’t feel bad about canceling dates and sometimes even feel relieved when they get too busy to spend time with you. You would prefer to do other things instead.
This is when you hit a point and realise that things have changed. The both of you become distant and don’t meet as frequently as before. When you’re bored of the person, it could be a sign that you’re ready to move on.
2. You feel like you’re taken for granted
Yes, you’re in an arrangement because it is a mutually beneficial relationship but you’re starting to realise your partner is only sweet and thoughtful when they want something. So when do things stop being mutually beneficial?
A few examples can include when they begin to show up late repeatedly, stop grooming themselves for you, cut your conversations short, turn a deaf ear to your problems, and most importantly when they only reach out because they want something. This can be sex, money or materialistic things.
This is the same person that will brush you off with a cold shoulder once they’ve gotten what they wanted.
3. Your partner wants to get intimate but you don’t want to
Never feel obligated to have sex with someone unless you want to. Nobody has the right to make you go further than you want to. Remind your partner of your arrangement. You have your rights to say no at any time. If your sugar daddy/mummy tries to talk you into doing something against your will, here are some ideas to what you can say in return:
‘‘I had a lot of fun on our dates but I just don’t feel that kind of chemistry with you.’’
‘’You are great as a sugar daddy/mummy, but I’m just not interested in you like that.’’
4. …Or you don’t feel like being intimate physically with your partner anymore
If you and your partner are in an arrangement where you have both agreed that physical intimacy is a part of the agreed terms, it’s clear that sex is expected. But if time passes by and the idea of being intimate with your partner puts you off or makes you the slightest bit uncomfortable, that’s a pretty clear sign to let go.
Before you decide to tell your partner that things aren’t working out, take some time to consider if other reasons might have put you off from physical intimacy. Were you burnt out from work and in turn you indirectly, and unintentionally, vented it onto your partner?
There is a myriad of scenarios that may cause you to hold back from being physically intimate, but it’s not at all bad or necessarily negative.
5. Your partner is abusive
No one plans to enter into an abusive relationship. Whether it’s a one-time thing or a continual barrage of physical or emotional abuse, the trust is broken. You are in an arrangement for a reason(s). You want happiness, freedom and you want to get something out of it.
If violence is present in your arrangement, break up and steer clear. No ifs or buts about it.
6. You both want different things
The best way to get out of this awkward situation is to talk to your partner about it. It is vitally important that you are scrupulously upfront and honest with your sugar. Define what you want and what you don’t want. Regardless of how it’s done, you should establish some ground rules and expectations at the beginning of the arrangement.
7. Your needs aren’t being met
Everyone has different wants and desires that only can be fulfilled within a relationship. These needs can be emotional, such as wanting to have more quality time with a sugar baby, or practical, like asking for a higher allowance or any other financial help from the sugar daddy/mommy.
If you feel that your ‘requirements’ were neglected or failed to be taken care of by your partner despite your best effort in communicating with them, it’s probably best to break up and find a better partner that’s able to value you and your needs.
8. They’re way too needy or you’re too clingy
The tendencies of being clingy to or from your partner may seem adorable…in the movies. What you see on TV is typically described as flirty, so keep in mind that there’s a fine line between being clingy and being flirty.
In reality, clingy is an obsessive behaviour and is generally considered a toxic dating habit. Clingy or needy partners are often diagnosed with low self-esteem, fear of abandonment and insecurity.
While the reasons behind this behaviour can sound reasonable, clinginess goes hand in hand with excessive reassurance-seeking or worse, jealousy.
Since sugaring is all about the drama-free, no-strings-attached dating lifestyle, if you find your partner or yourself acting this way, don’t you think the line has been crossed?
9. You’re constantly thinking about finding a new partner
Well…you can’t train your brain to literally find only your partner as the one with the thickest wallet or the prettiest face. Hence, the occasional thought of meeting a new sugar daddy/mommy or sugar baby is normal.
Nevertheless, if you catch yourself constantly imagining being in a new arrangement and feeling way more excited for others than the partner you’re currently with, then it could be a sign that you’re already slowly pulling yourself away from the arrangement.
10. Your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries
I’m sure we all are familiar with the concept ‘money talks’ which means the one who holds the thickest wallet has the ultimate control and influence on a person’s actions and decisions. However, this shouldn’t be applied in the world of sugaring.
Sugaring isn’t just about establishing a mutually beneficial relationship, but also a mutually respectful one. Regardless of whether your arrangement is short term, long term, or even just a pay-per-meet, respecting one another’s boundaries is a vital element for a healthy sugar relationship.
So if your partner overlooks or tramples all over yours time after time, it’s a clear sign that the relationship will be going to get worse in the long run.
Come to think of it, every form of relationship requires that R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
11. When you feel manipulated by your partner
Have you ever felt like something is off in your arrangement or even during a pay-per-meet where the other party is making you feel guilty or ungrateful for what they’ve done for you? Odds are you might be in a manipulative situation.
Manipulation is a sneaky form of abusive behaviour and it can come in many different ways. The most common ones in a sugar relationship are emotional blackmail, playing the victim card and gaslighting.
If you’ve ever encountered a situation like this, it’s best to break up and cut ties with that person immediately as you don’t need and don’t deserve the emotional distress.
12. They’ve cheated on you
Yes, you can be cheated on even if you’re in a sugar relationship. However, this only applies if you’re seeing your sugar daddy/mommy or sugar baby exclusively. So if you and your partner are in an open relationship, feel free to skip over this point.
It’s never OK to cheat on your partner, even in a sugaring case. Cheating on someone who put their trust in you is one of the cruellest things you can do to a person.
So if there’s ever a day you catch them red-handed (fingers crossed you don’t!) and they still won’t admit it happened, or if they downplay the details, breaking up with that person is definitely a no-brainer.
Now that you’ve read the signs and begun to notice one of the situations seem a bit too relatable. But before you jump to ending your relationship, take some time to ask yourself:
- Are you both happy with what you have?
- Can it be resolved with better communication?
- Is it time to move on and find a new arrangement?
If you believe things can be improved and decide to stay, that’s great! We’re happy for you! In contrast, if you think letting go would be a better decision, it’s fine too, honey. We’ll always support you.
Always remember, breaking up with your sugar partner isn’t the end of your world. There are so many other spoonfuls of sweet sugar waiting for you in Sugarbook 😘