If you hadn’t realised already, the world of sugar dating is (a little) different from traditional dating.
Picture this: You’ve been on a couple of sugar dates with a new, potential Sugar Daddy/Sugar Mommy, and each date has left you walking on air for days. When this happens, it’s probably time to discuss an arrangement.
- What is an arrangement?
- Tips to help calm the nerves before your arrangements
- Signs you could be making a wrong arrangement
What is an arrangement?
An arrangement describes a sugar relationship between a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Mummy and their Sugar Baby which is negotiated and agreed upon before both parties commit full-on.
By laying everything such as the terms and expectations out in the open and discussing them beforehand, both sides have the benefit of a totally transparent relationship where both parties can achieve what they want.
That’s how the relationship flourishes, with complete honesty and a sincere desire to spend time with each other!
Tips to help calm the nerves before your arrangements
Whether it’s your first arrangement, or your second, or tenth, it’s normal to feel anxious like a swarm of butterflies are setting up shop in your belly. After all, isn’t that the excitement of dating?
To help you get through the butterflies and the anxiety of your arrangements, here are some tips that we thought would come in handy:
Chances are, your potential sugar date is as nervous about the arrangement as you are. That’s just our usual human instincts kicking in when we meet someone new for the first few times.
So instead of overthinking or stressing about what may or may not happen when the time comes, try to stay as calm as a cucumber, let go of all your lingering thoughts and see where the relationship takes you.
There are many things you can’t control, like what’s going to happen in the future! But you can control your emotions and how you choose to face them, so try working on that instead.
We often hear the term ‘confidence is sexy’. Granted, confidence is easier said than achieved. It’s also hard enough without your nerves dulling your shine. In this instance, ‘fake it till you make it’ is your best option.
Affluent, mature men/women in sugar relationships are usually seeking someone special that they want to spoil and be around, but that doesn’t mean they are looking for someone clingy.
Look at your sugar relationships as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Leave the past in the past
Bringing up the past is a big conversation killer on dates, period. Unless you are specifically asked about your past, and if you are comfortable talking about it, it’s best to let bygones be bygones.
Go into each new arrangement with a clean slate and leave excess baggage from past experiences behind.
Every new individual you meet is a new person, and it would be unfair to let your past experiences hinder your true affections.
Ask stimulating questions
Questions keep conversations going. Except of course, if they are met with only ‘yes’ or ‘no’ replies. Being inquisitive about things signifies that you are present in the moment, and it’s a great way to learn about the person sitting across from you.
Nevertheless, keep the questions light at first and stick to questions on what you want to learn about each other like ‘what’s your favourite way to unwind’ or ‘what kind of music do you listen to’.
Then, just let the conversation take off naturally from there.
Signs you could be making a wrong arrangement
Keep in mind, a sugar relationship still shares a few similarities with a regular relationship where you are dating someone you really like. You enjoy spending time with them, sharing the same interests, passions, and aspirations. They are also the answer to your needs, and vice versa.
With that being said, ‘wrong’ sugar arrangements/relationships also exist, and you need to watch out for them.
Below, we’ve listed a number of instances where your arrangement could be headed in the wrong direction:
When they ask for your ‘rate’
If your potential Sugar Daddy/Mommy blatantly asks for your rate or ‘how much’ right off the bat, it signifies that they are just in it for the physical engagement. Or in other words, sex.
P2P or Pay-for-Play is a term that exists in the Urban Dictionary which details sexual acts or favours in return for money or expensive gifts.
This is NOT what Sugarbook is about, and you should never confuse (or let anyone confuse) your role as a Sugar Baby with that of an escort.
A SD/SM in search of a genuine sugar relationship will be willing to listen to your wishes and needs first, before telling you what they want in return.
And if what they put on the table contradicts your expectations and aspirations, it also doesn’t mean that you should give in.
Being demanding or lack of respect
A gold digger is a girl/guy who dates someone SOLELY with money on their mind, hence the unsavory nickname.
They aren’t interested in the relationship at all, and instead use trickery, deceit, whatever it takes to cover up their real intentions to get to the money.
On the contrary, a Sugar Baby has an open relationship with their Sugar Daddy/Mommy where there’s no hoodwinking because everyone’s intentions are laid out upfront.
While gifts and pocket money are exchanged, sugar relationships are actual relationships and it’s not just about getting a payout.
If a Sugar Baby just keeps demanding pocket money without being invested in the relationship, you might have a gold digger on your hands.
If they constantly ask you to ‘send nudes’
Your potential SD/SM can request to see your private photos. But if someone immediately asks or demands you to send nude or naughty pictures before coming to an arrangement, it’s time to raise the red flag.
As a Sugar Baby, it’s good practice to always be cautious about who you send your naughty pictures to because you don’t want them falling into the wrong hands.
Genuine Sugar Daddies and Sugar Mummies are in search of legitimate companions. If you get even a whiff or sign of potential abuse in your new arrangement, look the other way!
Abuse can exist in many forms. Some of them are disguised as harsh, demeaning, or aggressive language that can mess with your mental and emotional wellbeing.
Whether your Sugar Baby keeps demanding more money, or your Sugar Daddy/Mommy is being disrespectful, as long as you feel uncomfortable or threatened in any way, it’s time to end the arrangement and move on.
If you’ve been mistreated by anyone on Sugarbook, don’t forget to let Sugarbook know by contacting support.
When all they want is physical intimacy
Sugar dating is not just about physical intimacy. Sure, it’s on the table, but it should come naturally like most relationships.
Unless, of course, if you are also looking for something platonic or perfunctory. In this case, you should state it clearly on your profile to attract like-minded suitors/suitresses.
Always remember! You are an educated, talented, and attractive Sugar Baby with an abundance of potential. You always have a say when it comes to making arrangements.
At Sugarbook, we want you to always be honest with your feelings, and watch out for the warning signs above to always remain in the safe (and mutual) territory.
Take our hand, and let us guide you through every step of the way by visiting the Sugarbook blog today!
But before that, when was the last time you signed in to Sugarbook?