Have you been itching to explore and go out of the usual norm when it comes to relationships? Enter the world of polyamory vs polyagomy. 

You might find yourself wondering what are the differences between polyamory and polyagomy after finding out about these two terms, which is why you stumbled upon this article.

Polyamory and polyagomy in Singapore isn’t new either. It’s been around for ages, with many Singaporeans opening up about their own experiences. 

Well, if you find yourself changing from one partner to another, perhaps staying in just one relationship isn’t part of your lifestyle, and non-monogamous relationships aren’t so bad after all! 

What is Polyamory?

Source: whateveryourdose.com

So, what is polyamory exactly?

The word ‘poly’ is Greek for ‘many’. As the name itself suggests, you can have many, many many partners at the palm of your hand. 

In other words, polyamory involves a relationship where both partners are open to have multiple partners at the same time.  

 

What is Polyagomy?

Source: weekendpost.co.bw

But what is polyagomy? It’s essentially the same thing, except it involves married partners. 

A husband will have multiple wives instead of just one, and yes, that means multiple weddings too. 🤭

To get a clearer idea of the differences between polyamory and polyagomy, below, you’ll find the key 10 differences of polyamory vs polyagomy.

 

The Differences between Polyamory vs Polyagomy

Understanding the differences between polyamory and polyagomy is the first step before diving head first into these relationships. 

That way, you can answer the questions, ‘what is polyamory’ and ‘what is polyagomy’ without fumbling all over. 

1) Religion 

Polyagomy is actually part of the religious practice beliefs. For instance, Muslim men and Mormons are allowed to marry up to 4 wives. Women aren’t allowed to have multiple husbands, though.

But of course, the men have to be able to provide for the women and children (if any). 

2) Type of relationship

While polyamory involves both dating and marriage relationships, polyagomy only refers to people who are married. 

3) Gender

Both terms are used for either genders. Whether it is a woman having both same-sex and opposite-sex relationships or men, they can be referred to as polyamory or polyagomy.

4) Legality

With countless rules in certain countries refusing to allow same-sex marriages, many countries count polygamy as illegal. Yes, that means you’re legally not allowed to have multiple wives. 

In fact, the society deems polygamy as immoral. Well to be honest, not everyone is fine with sharing your own husband with other women at the same time. 😐

5) History

Unlike polyamory, the term polygamy has been around for ages, ever since marriage was introduced. It wasn’t until later in the 1990 when people started using the term polyamory. 

6) Sexual gratification

You may think people want to get into polygamy or polyamory just to have sexual relations with multiple partners at the same time. But in actual fact, polyamory is much more than that.

Having sexual relations in a polyamourous relationship is a plus, but ultimately it’s not compulsory, and definitely isn’t the goal.

It’s all about giving attention, love and care – much lesser on the endless orgie parties or exciting sexual experiences with multiple partners. 

Polygamy on the other hand usually involves sexual interactions, and the relationship could possibly purely just be that. 

7) Time span of the relationship

Most polyamourous relationships tend to last for a few months because it’s more of a temporary engagement. Long-term relationships are entirely optional. 

For polygamy, you’re in it for the long run. No questions asked. It’s a marriage after all, not a hi-bye type of relationship. 

8) Family relations

Without a doubt, it’s pretty obvious which term involves family. Polyamourous relationships usually aren’t family-focused, whereas polygamy consider the multiple partners as part of the family. 

9) Difference of authority in the relationship

Polyamorous relationships is when both partners are equally involved, with shared power and authority (hooray, equality at its finest!) 

With polygamous relationships, only the males (husbands) has the power when it comes to decision-making and holding responsibilities. 

10) Emotional investment

Polyamorous relationships usually involves constant communication and ensuring both partner’s needs or expectations are being met. They will take the time to make sure everyone is happy and satisfied.

Polygamous relationships doesn’t really require any communication since it’s more one-sided. So it won’t really matter if the wife isn’t satisfied or expects more from the husband. 

Check out: Everything You Need To Know About Mutually Beneficial Relationships

 

Now that you’re familiar with the differences between Polyamory and Polyagomy, you’re wondering if it’s something that suits you. 

How do you know if it’s right for you?

There’s no right or wrong – only you know what’s best for you. But if you’re really considering getting into this multiple partner relationship thing, then the below would help you decide.

  • You don’t get jealous easily. 

It’s a given – you can’t enter a polyamorous or polygamous relationship if you get jealous all the time. 

Most people in a polyamourous relationship do indeed get jealous, but they don’t let it get in the way of their other half on pursuing multiple partners. 

To overcome jealousy, communication and honesty is extremely important (pls take note of this, it’s a deal breaker!) 

If you can’t communicate or express your feelings well, then perhaps it’s not right for you. 🤷

 

  • You can manage your time well. 

Dealing with one partner is already a handful, what more with multiple partners? 😵‍

If you think you’re able to handle juggling multiple partners at the same time, then you should consider getting into it. 

But if you can’t divide your attention and fulfil several demands while making sure no partner is hurt, it’s best to stick to a single partner instead. 

 

  • You find yourself getting attracted to multiple people.

We know, we know – it’s normal to get attracted to many people. But hear us out! What we mean by this is that, when you’re loosing attraction easily from just one partner, it can be a sign that polyamorous or polygamous relationships are for you. 

While you can get attracted to people other than your current partner, if you take action with that said attraction by either breaking up or cheating, then clearly there’s a problem. 

Plus, it’s better to be in a polyamourous or polygamous relationship instead of cheating on the person, right? 

 

  • You are comfortable knowing your partner loves someone else. 

Can you really stand the thought of your partner loving another person other than you? Could you imagine your partner being in bed with someone else? 

If you’re totally cool with all of these situations above, it’s a green light! 🟢

Sharing your partner is something you’re fine with and you might even be happy that they’re seeing other people too!

 

  • You have an extroverted partner, but you’re introverted.

Introverts love to be by themselves and get plenty of alone time. Extroverts on the other hand, love to go out and have a good time! 🥳

If you’re an introvert and feel bad for not going out with your partner, you can consider a polyamorous or polygamous relationship so they could meet other people and spend time with them instead. 

You don’t want to be a party pooper, don’t you? 

As an introvert, going out or talking drains your energy, let your partner have his hang out sessions with other partners instead!

 

  • You love to communicate with others. 

Being with one person doesn’t really give you a chance to communicate as much because you can’t really talk to them without your own partner getting jealous.

We’ve all been there – our partner who just wouldn’t be okay with you talking to the person that’s somehow ‘trying to hit you up’. 

Prefer to have the freedom to talk to whoever you want? That’s a sign you might want to be in a non-monogamy relationship. 

 

  • You have an insanely high sex drive. 

Your current partner just isn’t meeting your sexual expectations? Do you find yourself wanting more, but they’re not up for your sexual adventurous side?

You don’t have to cheat on them – but maybe you might prefer being with a non-monogamous relationship where you could explore different positions and unleash that kinky side of yours with someone who’s all in. 

And hey, we don’t blame you for having a high sex drive. If you think having your sexual needs met are important – by all means, keep doing you, boo! Just be safe, and be in a non-monogamy relationship 😛

 

  • You just have a lot of love to give. 

There are people who can’t get intimate with someone, and then there’s a group of passionate lovers who love having emotional intimacy with literally everyone! 

Are you the latter? Do you just have the tendency to love many people at once and picture them as your romantic lover? 🥰

Non-monogamous relationships allow you to love multiple people at the same time, and if this is something that makes your heart full and skip a beat, it’s meant for you!

 

Polyamory vs Polyagomy: should I go ahead with it? 

Well, only you can answer that. All we can say is – go on and explore! 

Most people don’t even know it’s something that makes their life much happier. And if you already have a partner, ask them if they’re interested to explore too! 

Afraid your friends will judge you from entering this part of the dating world? Screw them – what matters most is what YOU want in life and how you picture your relationships to be. 

Besides, online dating in Singapore has been on the rise, so you could always test it out without having to physically meet them in person if it’s easier for you that way.

Yeah, some naysayers will not view you in a good light after finding out you’re seeing multiple partners. But really, who cares? It’s your life after all, not theirs. 

Which brings us to our next point: Sugar Dating. 

It’s a consensual non-monogamous relationship where both partners state their boundaries up front, fulfilling everyone’s expectations, making both parties happy! 😍

Not sure if sugar dating is right for you? Like we said earlier – start exploring the other parts of the dating world, you won’t regret it! 

Check out: 10 Best Dating Apps in Singapore to Try in 2021