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The year is 2023, and you’re a modern man or woman – you pay your own bills, you can easily change a tire, you might even do your own taxes…. but there’s one thing that still feels a little intimidating: how to ask a man out. Maybe it’s because you have heard for years that some men don’t like it when someone else makes the first move, maybe it’s because of fear of rejection… whatever it is, it’s time to forget all that and just go for it. And with our tips on how to ask your crush out, you’ll have that first date in no time.

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How to ask a man out via text

If you’re not sure how to ask a man out, texting is a great low pressure idea. This has the advantage of not putting your crush on the spot and giving him time to gracefully back out if he’s not interested. Some tips:

Be direct

Everyone appreciates someone who knows what they want. Often the best way to ask someone out, even via text message, is to just say. ‘Hey, do you want to go out to dinner with me on Thursday?’ I know a great Mexican restaurant,’ or ‘Hey, [the band you like] is playing at [local venue], want to go together?” is much better than “Hey, want to get together sometime?”

Make it personal

Tone of voice is often hard to understand in texts, so make sure your message is tailored to it. Don’t just text out of the blue to ask for a date; chat a bit beforehand to get things rolling and let him know you’d like to meet in person.

Play out a mutual interest

Are you both fans of cover bands? Art lovers? Are you in the middle of a fierce competition to see who can eat the hotter peppers? Take advantage of this when asking a guy out – it’s much more likely to lead to a “yes” than a general invitation to “hang out together”

Leave room for a “no

No one likes to be cornered. So make sure he has the option to say no if he wants to. One simple way is to ask him if he’s busy this week. If he says yes more than once? That’s a sign he’s not that interested in you.
how to ask a guy out tips


Sometimes the best way to ask a guy out is simply face to face. Here are a few tips on how to ask a man out without getting turned down.

Pick a time and place where you feel comfortable

Maybe it’s during a party you’re both at, or when you’re out with friends or doing something together (but make sure you have an escape route in case you don’t get the answer you want). When you feel comfortable, it shows in your confidence, and men love confidence.

Practice makes perfect

This sounds cheesy and middle school, but we’re serious. Practicing asking a man out with a friend or alone in front of a mirror is a great way to overcome your shyness. Practicing your lines is a great way to gain confidence when you actually ask.

Just ask!

Sometimes you just have to do it. Start with a smile and a compliment, and then ask simply and clearly, “Hey, would you like to go out to dinner sometime?” or “Would you like to go out with me?” Any man would be flattered by expressing his interest.

When he says no: Tips for dealing with it

You’ve worked up the courage to ask…. and he said no. Now how do you deal with rejection? It’s okay to feel bad, and it’s okay if it hurts. What’s not okay is to keep trying until the no becomes a yes – you shouldn’t try to push him into it. Instead, reward yourself for being brave and taking a chance, and then find someone else who appreciates your fabulous personality.

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Even if you’re the one hoping for a date, sometimes you just want him to do it to make sure he likes you too. Here’s how you can nudge him in that direction:

Keep a smile on your face and open body language

Our bodies send signals that our brains barely notice. Maybe you really like that man over there, but your nervous face and crossed arms say otherwise. So try smiling and making your body language more open (leaning toward him, putting your hands in your lap, or moving around to make a point) – it will likely get your message across more clearly.

Flirt… but only a little

Everyone always needs a little encouragement. So make eye contact and hold it, give him a compliment or two, put your hand on his arm if you’re feeling brave. But don’t overdo it – the point is to get him to ask you out, not to scare him away.

Ask him about his plans for the weekend

There’s a time to be subtle, and a time to be…. well, not subtle. Ask him what his plans are for the weekend. With any luck, it’s something you can be a part of, and he’ll ask you on his own. If not, you are showing him with your question that you’re interested…. a feeling I hope he responds to by asking you out!