People often dream about their big day, as they envision a majestic ceremony to celebrate a union that is set to last forever. But what about moments after the sparks from the honeymoon phase have settled?
They say that the honeymoon period often has an expiry date. Although, that doesn’t mean that the sparks will be gone forever. All marriage experiences go through a series of ups and downs. “Happily ever after” takes work.
It’s just what happens when you commit a lifelong bond with another person, there’s bound to be obstacles.
Don’t worry just yet, your marriage isn’t doomed forever, not if we can do something about it!
To help you out in keeping the spark alive in your marriage, we’ve listed some tips on how to have a happy marriage! Take this as your healthy marriage checklist, and find out what works for your relationship.
- Secrets to a happy marriage
Secrets to a happy marriage
1 – Talk about everything
Open communication is important. No one knows what you’re thinking or what you want if you don’t communicate it.
Communicate about the day to day things to get things done, and communicate about your feelings to overcome the lows and celebrate the highs.
As long as there is open communication, everyone will feel comfortable speaking their mind no matter what comes up.
2 – Learn how to argue
There’s bound to be arguments in every relationship, even in happy marriages.
Long-term couples tend to go through ‘rough patches’, but that’s all there is to it, a rough patch that you are supposed to go through together, as a couple.
The trick is in learning to argue effectively. Not just for the sake of being heard or winning the argument, but to listen to each other’s point of view to resolve any issue at hand.
Knowing when the argument is getting out of hand and knowing when to compromise is also part of this.
3 – Learn to let things go
It’s okay to walk away from certain arguments if you feel like it’s not going anywhere or if you feel like you might say something hurtful during the heat of the moment.
In times like these, walking away also helps to dissipate the negative energy.
Although, don’t walk away just to stew in your own negative thoughts because it will certainly make things worse.
Then, when you come back to discuss the topic, the much-needed space could give you a different perspective where you can even learn to just let it go.
Don’t go to bed with negative feelings towards each other. If you can’t solve the problem, don’t skip your good night cuddles. In fact, cuddles are highly recommended to melt the tension away!
4 – Remember to show affection
For couples who’ve been together for a long time, passionate cuddles can quickly morph into a light peck on the cheek that doesn’t even get an acknowledgement.
The action becomes so familiar that you tend to do it on auto-pilot until it becomes just a mundane activity without any passion or real feelings.
Don’t let this happen! Emotional dissatisfaction is always named the main culprit in unhappy marriages.
When couples feel disconnected or unwanted, they become vulnerable in many ways.
So don’t skip your good morning or good night kisses, keep a hand on your lover’s thigh while watching TV, and hold each other’s hands till death do you part!
5 – Say thank you
Besides showing affection, appreciation also goes a long way.
It’s as simple as saying “thank you for preparing dinner tonight” or “thank you for forgiving me when I’m being irrational”.
Don’t underplay the power of spelling out a big THANK YOU to your partner every now and then to remind them that their efforts or just them being by your side brings you joy and comfort.
Showing appreciation will help you feel acknowledged, appreciated, and motivate you to continue the relationship on a positive path.
6 – Laugh together
They say laughter is the best medicine, and it’s especially true for long term couples.
Couples who can laugh together even through the good times and the bad, usually feel more at ease with each other. And it definitely helps to overcome whatever challenges life brings.
Sharing a laugh is a form of intimacy that can draw you closer to each other.
Inside jokes that can incite uncontrollable laughter with just a simple look are the best!
There are also other ways to bring humour into your life like watching comedy shows or sending each other funny memes while at work during the day.
7 – Complement, not complete each other
We’ve all heard the phrase ‘You complete me’.
Sometimes, it does feel like your lover’s existence just makes you feel… complete.
However, in reality, couples should complement each other, not complete.
If you rely on one another to feel complete or fulfilled, you are likely creating an over-dependent relationship.
Feelings of blame and discontentment arise when certain needs are uncared for.
Sure, your spouse completes you in many ways, but that doesn’t mean you should only depend on them to make you feel happy or fulfilled.
You have the power to control your own environment.
Be your own person, focus on your own interests and desires to become whole as a person so you can fully be open to embracing your other half.
8 – The little things matter
Doing little things for each other on a daily can mean a lot to the other person.
For example, helping out with your spouse’s chores because they’re spending a late night at the office even when they didn’t ask you to.
Your lover, already stressed at work and dreading coming home to face the pile of dirty laundry, would feel loved, appreciated, and definitely thankful when they can just come home to relax with the family.
There’s a ton of little things you could do for each other. Just think about what you can do to put a smile on their face or make them feel loved.
9 – Remind yourself how hot your spouse is
Remember the sparks you felt the first time you met?
You must’ve felt SOMETHING because otherwise, you wouldn’t have been head over heels with each other until you were crazy enough to get hitched!
This attraction easily gets lost when you’ve been together for a long time as kids or other responsibilities enter the picture.
It doesn’t mean that the attraction is lost, it just tends to be forgotten. But it’s nothing little reminders can’t fix!
Practice “attraction thoughts” to keep the connection alive where you pay attention to the attributes that made you fall in love with your lover in the first place.
10 – Appreciate the ups and downs
Marriage and relationships are full of ups and downs, and so is life.
Because otherwise, the opposite of that is stagnation, and you don’t want that to happen either.
We all go through phases where some days, you wake up and you just want to cling to your partner all day. Other days, you can’t even stand the sound of their voice!
This is the ebb and flow of life, and how you take them on as a team can really make a difference in your marriage.
Finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with is a gift, not everyone is lucky to experience it.
It does, however, take a lot of work. Woody Allen was right when he said “a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.”
Now that you have our 10 tips on how to have a happy marriage, start putting in the work to nurture your relationship so that it lasts a lifetime.
If you’re here but it’s too late to save your marriage, and you’ve made the decision to move on, make sure you visit Sugarbook today!