Some things in life should not last very long, say a visit to the dentist or an intimidating presentation at work. We hope for these things to be over as soon as they start but when it comes to sex, this should not be the case.
It’s no secret that many men have an easier time reaching orgasm than many women. For men, the average time between the sheets is anywhere from two to five minutes. For women, it’s a bit longer: about 20 minutes before reaching the big climax.
This gap in the timing between men and women means that a lot of women may find themselves still in the race while their partner has already crossed the finish line. Oops!
If you have been feeling unsatisfied with how fast you do the deed, here are 15 ways you can try to increase your stamina and finish the race together.
Contents
- 15 ways to last longer in bed
- 1) Sex isn’t about penetration
- 2) Focus on foreplay
- 3) Try the start-stop technique
- 4) Or try the squeeze technique
- 5) Try something new
- 6) Manage anxiety and stress
- 7) Quit smoking and reduce the drinking
- 8) Open communication
- 9) Address relationship issues
- 10) Get more exercise
- 11) Practice mindfulness
- 12) Try a herbal remedy
- 13) Change your diet
- 14) Talk to a doctor
- 15) Consider counselling
15 ways to last longer in bed
1) Sex isn’t about penetration
While we may have been conditioned to think that the main event of a sexual encounter is when the P enters the V, that is simply not true.
There is so much more to physical intimacy that extends beyond the two sexual organs. It can also involve foreplay, massages, kissing, dirty talking, etc.
By focusing on other aspects of sex instead of penetration, you can extend the time that you are spending with your partner through acts that not only pleasure her but might also be pleasurable to you.
Spending time exploring and experimenting with other forms of sexual play is a great way to last longer in bed.
2) Focus on foreplay
We cannot emphasize this enough – foreplay is so important!
If you have watched the TV show Friends before, you might be familiar with the scene above. In the scene, Monica is giving Chandler a lesson on how to pleasure his girlfriend through the various erogenous zones on a woman’s body.
If you are as confused as Chandler, you best heed our advice. Warming up through foreplay not only increases the odds of orgasm (and it could be more than one), but it also means that your partner would not be bothered by penetration that lasts just a few minutes.
Pro tip: Sex doesn’t have to end just because one of you orgasmed. Lasting longer in bed means going on until the both of you are satisfied.
3) Try the start-stop technique
If you would like to last longer in bed, you can also try the start-stop technique.
When you feel like you are about to come, stop all activity and movement and take a few deep breaths. Start again when the feeling begins to subside. You can keep doing this for as long as you want throughout the intercourse to make it last longer.
This method can train the body to hold off ejaculation and help a man become more relaxed with not ejaculating, even during intense sex.
4) Or try the squeeze technique
Similar to the point above, the goal is to delay ejaculation. This technique was introduced in 1970 by the masters of sex themselves – William Masters and Virginia Johnson.
What you do is when you feel like you are about to ejaculate, you or your partner can grab the shaft right below the head and gently squeeze for 5 to 10 seconds. This pressure on the urethra and the constriction of blood flow will help repress your orgasm.
This in turn helps you prolong the time you have to do sexy things in bed.
5) Try something new
Spice things up in the bedroom! Ask for your partner’s fantasy and make it come true or try role-playing or incorporate sex toys into your playtime.
There are so many things you could do to increase the level of excitement and pleasure during sex. There are different positions and even new places you never thought of that you could do the dirty at.
And when you’re trying something novel and unfamiliar, this could actually help in making the sex last longer.
| Check out: 20 Sexy Songs You Should Add Into Your Sex Playlist |
6) Manage anxiety and stress
Anxiety and stress can be caused by many things in our lives. At one point or another, it can wreak havoc and spill into other areas of our lives.
Anxiety and stress can have very real effects on a man’s sexual performance be it in their stamina or their ability to stay at full mast during intercourse.
So here are a few ways to help you reduce the anxiety and stress you are facing:
- Focus more on the physical sensations than your sexual performance
- Get more sleep
- Exercise
- Meditate
- Spend time on your favourite hobby
When you are able to reduce the stress and anxiety your mind and body is under, you are free to pay more attention to the pleasures of the body and last longer in bed.
7) Quit smoking and reduce the drinking
We know that smoking and drinking are very enjoyable things to do but if you are looking to last longer in sex, you might want to reconsider these actions.
Smoking has been known to lead to high blood pressure and other heart-related issues that can cause erectile issues. Limiting your alcohol intake would also help because it can affect your sexual appetite.
Now we wouldn’t want that happening to your sex life, would we?
8) Open communication
Look, your partner will notice if you are not doing too well in bed. Although this could be a hard (bad pun alert) subject to broach, talking about this would make you feel less alone in your struggle.
Your partner may be able to ease your concerns and even help you get through this together. Communicating openly and honestly with your partner will help build a deeper emotional intimacy and this could help in your physical intimacy too.
9) Address relationship issues
Sometimes issues outside the bedroom can lead to things not working out in the bedroom. When you’re together with someone, sex becomes more than just a physical act. It involves feelings and emotions too.
It is important to communicate without blame and resentment. Try to address the relationship problems in a calm and collected way.
10) Get more exercise
Yes, get up and move that body! Did you know that being physically active has so many benefits including improving sexual function and overall health? Of course, you do. So, I will not repeat myself on this.
On top of exercising, you can also specifically exercise your pelvic muscles also known as Kegels. Both men and women have this muscle, it’s the one that helps control your pee.
And just like how doing Kegels help with women’s sexual satisfaction, for men, this will help during arousal and ejaculation.
Here’s how to do it:
- While urinating, stop the flow of urine. Repeat several times and learn to identify the muscles involved.
- When not urinating, try to contract these muscles for 10 seconds. Relax them for 10 seconds, then contract them for another 10 seconds.
- Repeat this cycle of contracting and relaxing 10 times each day.
11) Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of becoming more aware of the present moment.
Research in 2017 has shown that mindfulness can improve sexual relationships and help you be more present during sexual activity.
Mindfulness and mediation might not be up your alley but hey, no harm giving it a go. At the very least, it can help you manage any stress you may be feeling.
12) Try a herbal remedy
Trying a herbal remedy is one of the natural ways to help you last longer in bed. There have been some herbal remedies that are known to improve your stamina.
For example, ginseng is known to provide significant improvement. Word of advice: do check with your doctor before taking any herbal supplements so that it won’t affect your health.
13) Change your diet
Did you know that capsaicin which is the active component in chilli peppers can help speed up recovery?
So it’s not a problem if your sexy time ends too soon, you can always go again in no time – just pop some chilli peppers in your mouth beforehand.
We kid! Please don’t do that, we will not be held responsible for the time you spend sitting on the toilet bowl instead of romancing your partner. 😂
Other than chilli peppers, nutrients such as L-citrulline, nitrates and magnesium can improve blood flow and help maintain an erection. Dear men, stop being picky with your food and start eating your vegetables!
14) Talk to a doctor
It’s normal to lose your stamina sometimes. But if it’s persistent and you notice other symptoms such as pain during or after sex, having trouble ejaculating or maintain an erection, you might want to pay a visit to your doctor.
FYI, those home remedies that you see plastered on the walls or in the pop-up ads on your browser that guarantees that you will last longer in bed – don’t fall for them!
15) Consider counselling
Sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction can be partly due to psychological factors. If that’s the case, please consult a mental health professional to help you with it.
Or you might have an underlying health issue that is causing erectile dysfunction. Talking to a counsellor and having a support system can be very helpful in times like this.
It might be embarrassing to talk about wanting to last longer in bed but your concerns are valid and your mental health consultant is no stranger to such issues.
We want you to be as excited as the guy in the gif up there when it comes to sex. If you’ve got any other tips that you would like to share to help those in the same boat, feel free to comment down below let us know.
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